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Introducing!!
The exclusive who-is-who interview of Iris Newspaper!

Iris Newspaper is the daily publication of OLYMPUS academy city, aiming to keep all the students updated on the most current news! The “Introducing!!” series is meant for those just arriving to our city, and are still getting used to the new place. Its aim is to introduce all dorm heads so that you don’t get surprised!

Sea of Estray Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number one:
Head of the Sea of Estray dormitories
Finland’s “Crushing Winter Moon”
Tessa Julmakäsi

Interviewer: So, Tessa, you are the head of the Sea of Estray dormitories, and in-fact, the youngest dormitory head in the whole city! How does it feel?
Tessa: Huh? Who gave you the right to call so familiarly as “Tessa”? I tell you, you little “#¤%&, if you try anything on me during this interview, I’ll have Kuuteräs eat your balls, as small as they are!
Interviewer: A-ah, I am sorry, Julmakäsi-san. I’ll be careful from now on. B-but, now that you mentioned it, that sword of yours “Kuuteräs” is kind of famous, isn’t it?
Tessa: Damn right it is! Made in the ancient traditions passed down from smith Ilmarinen to my ancestors, it’s a conceptual weapon good enough to smash any kind of spiritual being to fragments.
Interviewer: Ooh, that sounds dangerous indeed. Not to mention your “sword magic” even enhances those effects.
Tessa: Yeah. Whether it’s one sword or ten swords, us Julmakäsis’ have always been experts at fighting with these weapons, hahahahaha!
Interviewer: I-I can believe that.........Oh, that’s right. You are Master of Invoker, aren’t you? How is your relationship with your Servant?
Tessa: Hmh? Me and Invoker? Oh, she does a good job. She’s pain in the ass though, being all jealous if I talk to other people’s Servants. And then she’s greedy like a magpie, stealing anything that shines. And moreover, she’s-
Interviewer: I-I think that’s all the time we have! Now, do you have any musical “theme” you’d like present to the readers? So as they’d get to know you better.
Tessa: Hmmm.....I guess this could serve as one.
Interviewer: Thank you! So, here ends our interview with academy city’s “99% tsun, 1% dere” dorm head of Sea of Estray!
Tessa: W-w-w-what the fuck was that!?
End of article.

Clock Tower Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number two:
Head of the Clock Tower dormitories
England’s “Ever-red Silky Rose”
Roselia McKlennington

Interviewer: Ah, it is always a pleasure to meet you, Miss McKlennington. I must thank you again for taking the time to appear in this interview of our humble newspaper, even though you are always so busy taking care of the well-being of the people in your dorm.
Roselia: Oh, that is quite alright. I am always more than happy to help out in projects for the good of us all, like this newspaper.
Interviewer: Such kind words. Now, if it does not bother you, can we go straight to the questions?
Roselia: By all means, do.
Interviewer: It is said that most of the flowers in the famous “Persephone Garden” have been brought here in the academy city by you. Is this true?
Roselia: Oh, if I answer truthfully now it will sound like I would be boasting..........but indeed, that is true. The seeds were from my own garden back in England.
Interviewer: Ooh? Does this mean that they have been raised with the famous magecraft of McKlenningtons?
Roselia: Indeed they have. We McKlenningtons are proud of both of our magecraft and the way it affects all living things. That includes plants, too.
Interviewer: Your Servant, Trickster, seems to also be very proud of that garden. He has become a rather regular sight, tending the roses of Persephone Garden.
Roselia: Oh, he is a fine example of a young determination, that man. Although he was quite a rascal in the beginning, once I finally raised my voice to him, he understood how troublesome his pranks had been to the other residents of Clock Tower. As an apology, he offered to tend the Garden for me. Isn’t he a sweetheart?
Interviewer: Y-yes, very much so.......well, I guess that’s all the time we have for today. As per tradition, is there any song you would like to present to us, that would get us to know you better?
Roselia: Hhmmm, well, since you asked, this is a song that I certainly enjoy.
Interviewer: Thank you Miss McKlennington. I hope we will see again in the future.
Roselia: Yes, I hope so too. It was a pleasure being here.
End of article.

Atlas Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number three:
Head of the Atlas dormitory
Egypt’s “Buried Ancient Sage”
Hael-ul Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri

Interviewer: Now this is a miracle of a sort. You don’t come much out from your office on top of Atlas dormitory, don’t you, Hael-ul?
Hael-ul: Of course not............it’s a pain. A magnificent pain and frankly, all too troublesome............I get good enough grades in tests, so I don’t have to.......they can’t expel me either, since I’m a Master..........
Interviewer: Now now, is that a good attitude to show to your juniors? You are a senpai to most of the Atlas students, aren’t you?
Hael-ul: Listen....................man...........I got kicked out of my family for not being a magus, and then made them look like fools when I became one of the next candidates for the title of “Atlasia”. If that ain’t a good role model, then nothing is.
Interviewer: B-but surely the Sophia-Ri family has forgiven you already, in the light of your grand achievements...?
Hael-ul: Like the hell they have...............and doing something big was too troublesome, so I just took my conceptual weapons and beat the living crap out of my grandfather..............man that was a pain............and now they have to acknowledge me...........want it or not.
Interviewer: I-I see. Now, what about your Servant, Enchanter? How does he view your attitude towards school? If I remember right, he visits Athena Academy frequently....
Hael-ul: That guy...............? I’m not sure. It’s not like I see him around here much................but when I do, he yaps his mouth about how I should go outside more................like I didn’t have my “Tokiomi Check-In” to play, along with dozens of other eroges.....
Interviewer: B-but...........aren’t you still underage?
Hael-ul: Just get of my case..........
Interviewer: W-well! In the end, would you have any music that would get us to know you better?
Hael-ul: Troublesome..................this.............I guess.................maybe........
Interviewer: U-understood. Well, thank you for your time!
End of article.

Ryougi clan Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number four:
Head of the Ryougi clan dormitories
Japan’s “Divided Moonlit Night”
Ryougi Mana/MANA

Interviewer: Ah, welcome. It is always a pleasure to see.......ah, which one of you it is again?
MANA: This time it’s me, MANA.
Interviewer: Ah, I see. Well then, Ryougi-san, I guess we should jump to the questions right away. Or is there something you’d like to say first?
MANA: Not really. It’s not like any of your readers actually takes to heart whatever is said on these pages, right?
Interviewer: T-that is quite a nasty way to put it....
MANA: Well sorry. I’m the one focused on battles of the two of us, so if you want kind words, Mana is the one you want to talk to.
Interviewer: Speaking of her, is it true that Mana actually took more after your father, while you took after your mother?
MANA: Eh........ do you mean father? Or mother-father? Since mother-father is gone, and unless I manage to beat the living crap out of all these other students with Assassin, I probably won’t be seeing him.
Interviewer: F-father? Mother-father? E-e-eh? What would you be meaning right now?
MANA: ........just forget it.
Interviewer: R-right. I will. Well, before we quit, any music you’d like to point out to us that would get us to know you both better?
MANA: Hmm..... maybe this will do.
Interviewer: Thank you. And thank you for appearing in our newspaper.
End of article.

Asakami clan Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number five:
Head of the Asakami clan dormitories
Japan’s “Electric Cloud Prince”
Asakami Kazuya

Interviewer: Well, well, this isn’t the first time you’ve been here, Kazuya-san. Last time I think it was because of your band’s, “Dengeki Hime”’s, new album right?
Kazuya: That’s correct.
Interviewer: Well, in that case, I guess it’s: “Welcome back” (Laugh). So, how has the life been treating you in OLYMPUS lately?
Kazuya: Not bad. As we finished the new album quite recently we’ve done more gigs lately, though I’ve already been working on some new songs. Nothing too concrete, though.
Interviewer: And I can assume the fans have been as loyal as ever?
Kazuya: Luckily for us, yes. Thanks to those fans who are there to support our band, we have been able to achieve our life-long dream. Man’s romance, so to speak!
Interviewer: A-haah.....I see. Well, speaking of romance: There have always been quite few ladies that have the wish of dating you. Anything new on that department?
Kazuya: Unfortunately, devoting your life on music leaves little time for women. I once tried asking Defender to sort out some of the love letters that appear every now and then in my mailbox, to see if there was someone who seemed honest and kind-hearted. However, for some reason, she seemed pissed off and refused to talk to me for the rest of the day.
Interviewer: Defender, yes, I remember her. She is quite famous for bringing you a boxed lunch to school every day, isn’t she?
Kazuya: I-I wish you didn’t remind me. I get embarrassed enough as it is.
Interviewer: Well, that’s the life for people like you (laugh). In any case, could you give us a sample of some song that would maybe get us to know you better?
Kazuya: Oh, this might do.
Interviewer: Great. Well then, thank you for your time. Hopefully we’ll be able to see Dengeki Hime performing soon enough.
Kazuya: Yes, hopefully.
End of article.

(Author Notes: Kazuya's the type of guy you would mistake for the protagonist if he was shown in the game's CD case)

Fujou clan Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number six:
Head of the Fujou clan dormitories
Japan’s “Blind Blessing”
Fujou Suzuka

Interviewer: Ah, it is wonderful to have you here tonight as our guest, Suzuka-hime. I hope you didn’t tire yourself too much by coming here straight after class.
Suzuka: Ah, do not worry. My health isn’t that frail that I could not take time to help you out. Besides, I have Saber right here with me, keeping an eye on me.
Saber: That is right, Suzuka-hime. You can be at ease, I will be watching for any and all enemies.
Interviewer: I guess I should give a greeting to you then, Saber. Thanks you for trusting us enough to let your Master come here for an interview.
Saber: No need to thank me. I know your Servant is a honorable person, and thus I can safely assume you are too.
Interviewer: You do me too much honor. In any case...
Suzuka: *Cough*cough*cough*cough*cough*!
Interviewer: S-Suzuka-hime!? Are you alright? Should we postpone this interview?
Suzuka: I-it’s alright. Please, continue.
Interviewer: V-very well then. Now, you are the head of the Festival committee, and thus you plan most of the events that happen here in OLYMPUS. What is your favorite event in whole year?
Suzuka: Ah, that is a good question. Now, let’s see........hmm, yes. I think my favorite is either our Summer Festival in July or the great big Christmas Festival held every year in December. Despite there being differences amongst the students, they always work together when it comes to event like this.
Interviewer: Even.......Church and Dead Apostles?
Suzuka: Fufufufu.......after Saber was through with them, I saw those three dorm heads singing Christmas carols together.
Interviewer: Ah..........I remember that. We did a whole article about that last year. But I didn’t know you were the ones behind it.
Suzuka: Well, it’s all thanks to Saber-kun here.
Saber: I-I did nothing to be thanked for. I just reminded them about the spirit of Christmas.
Interviewer: I-I see........well, anyways, could you perhaps give us a song that might let us know you better? We have taken it as tradition to ask our guests for one like that.
Suzuka: Ah, certainly. Here is a fitting one, I suppose.
Interviewer: Thank you. Hopefully you will stay healthy, Suzuka-hime.
End of article.

Einzbern Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number seven:
Head of the Einzbern dormitories
Germany’s “Steel Colossus Lily”
Illerina von Einzbern

Interviewer: Well, this is a rare sight. Not many times have I had the chance to see you, Illerina-san.
Illerina: ...
Interviewer: I-Illerina-san? Is everything alright?
Illerina: ...
Interviewer: I-in any case, how about we go straight to the questions? Now, there are quite lot of rumors floating about you, seeing that you are one of the most mysterious Masters of this war. What do you say about the rumor that you alone are to blame for 94% of the ridiculous electricity bill your dorm causes every night?
Illerina: ...
Interviewer: N-no? Or was that yes? L-let’s go to the next question! Ahem! Is it true that you are actually an all-combat-purpose homunculus built by the Einzbern family, and thus process only the bare minimum of processing capacity? And because of your complete battle-orientation and ultimate defense form, you actually weigh a few tons?
Illerina: ...
Interviewer: .....Well, judging from how you are still standing even though I asked you to sit down, it probably has some base, that rumor. Okay, next question! Now, how do you respond to the rumor that a year ago, when the famous fall of the Poseidon Area happened, the Impulse Battle you were part of was actually the reason the whole area dropped to the ocean below?
Illerina: ...
Inteviewer: Continuing about that rumor, it is said that it was not actually Warder who defeated your opponent. Instead, it is whispered that it was you alone who destroyed that Saber by breaking her spine, and single-handedly put that Saber’s Master into wheelchair. Is this true?
Illerina: ...
Interviewer: ........There’s no real point to this, is there? Eh, just give us the music that’ll get the readers to know what little there is to know you, apparently.
Illerina: ...
Interviewer: ........This is my first monologue as a interviewer........ (Cry)
End of article.

Dead Apostle Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number eight:
Head of the Dead Apostle dormitories
Italy’s “Knightmare of Tuscany”
Jacques de Florence

Interviewer: Welcome, Jacques-san. Thank you for taking your time to come to our interview.
Jacques: No need to thank me. To help those in lower position than him: that is the role of a lord.
Interviewer: I-Indeed. So, how have things been with you?
Jacques: Not bad. Though my position as new number 12 has given me lot to do, my main priority still is the well-being of the students staying in my dormitory. Thus, I have set other matters aside for a minute, though the White Knight bothers me with his calls every now and then.
Interviewer: W-White Knight Svelten!? Isn’t it bit of a risk to ignore his calls??
Jacques: Worry not. Let’s just say that..........some Dead Apostle Ancetors have a bad affinity with each one. Dear Svelten has absolutely terrible affinity with me, and thus he wishes to avoid a hostile confrontation at any cost.
Interviewer: Not to mention that right now you have Berserker to protect you.
Jacques: Indeed. No matter how strong subordinates he has, none of them can match up to Berserker.
Interviewer: Well, that is reassuring. You are quite well-liked by the students at your dorm, so it would be a shame if we lost you.
Jacques: I am humbled by your words. Though I must say I do not enjoy such popularity throughout the OLYMPUS. The Holy Church’s Ward especially holds a lot of contempt against me.
Interviewer: Well, that should be obvious...
Jacques: Though even we have to act friendly if confronted by that princess of Fujou dorms, and her Saber...
Interviewer: I-I see......Well, at least you do useful work for OLYMPUS. You occasionally help out ARES’ night patrols, don’t you?
Jacques: Indeed. Those gentlemen are doing important work, and that is why I wish to help them. Though here, some nights are dangerous even for us vampires...
Interviewer: Y-You wouldn’t mean.......?
Jacques: Exactly. Well, it is best not to talk about that person too much. It’s not like we want to draw his attention into ourselves. Even though I am Rank 5, I have no plans to bother those above me any time soon.
Interviewer: I-Indeed. Well then! Before we end this interview, could you give us some music that would help us know you better?
Jacques: Certainly. This would be most fitting, I think.
Interviewer: Thank you. And thank you for being here today.
End of article.

Assembly of the 8th Sacrament Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number nine:
Head of the Assembly of 8th Sacrament Dormitories
France’s “Last Pure Scripture”
Liza Mezzalforte

Interviewer: Mezzalforte-san...........did you come with Hunter?
Liza: E-eh!? H-h-h-how did you realize??
Interviewer: Well, how do I say this......I think this whole building was shaken by his steps.
Liza: Awawawawawawaa! I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry! I didn’t mean to, I didn’t think it’d cause so much trouble...!
Interviewer: W-well, as long as there was no property damage. Now, would you be willing to answer few questions?
Liza: Um...sure. Go ahead.
Interviewer: Now, I know that you are a Burial Agency member, but......are you really Number 4? I mean, I sometimes find this little hard to believe...
Liza: H-how rude! You’re just like Dawn-kun! Even he’s always like: “What?? Are you still here? You weren’t a joke??” back in Vatican!
Interviewer: N-now now, I’m sorry I doubted you....I mean, someone as young as you as a Burial Agency member......you’re the second youngest dorm head we have, aren’t you? I guess you just have a lot of potential.
Liza: I-It could be, but to be honest, I’m struggling with my grades here, so the potential cannot be there, at least...
Interviewer: Uh-huh. Well..............ermm..........oh! How do you get along with your colleague from Chivalric Orders? I mean, their dorm head?
Liza: Venten? Eh....just between you and me, I know he’s a saint, but.......isn’t he a bit too hot-blooded to be one?
Interviewer: Erm, Mezzalforte-san? You do know all this is going to be published?
Liza: W-what?! Awawawawawawawa, what I’m going to dooooo!?
Interviewer: Why don’t we just cut to the end, where you’ll give us a song which we can use to learn more about you?
Liza: Y-yes, let’s do that. Here.
Interviewer: Okay, then. Thank you for your time, Mezzalforte-san. I hope we’ll see you again.
Liza: Um, yes. Thank you, too.
End of article.

Chivalric Orders Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number ten:
Head of the Chivalric Orders dormitories
Ireland’s “Saint Deodatus Remix”
Venten Gullivan

Interviewer: Ah, welcome, Venten-san. I’m glad you decided to come to our interview nevertheless.
Venten: Aw, shucks. I couldn’t have skipped out like that, ya know? You’re doing important job here, anyway.
Interviewer: Well, thank you. But how have you yourself been? Any trouble in academy or in other stuff?
Venten: Well, as you can probably guess, that damn vampire is pissing me off every day! I swear I’m gonna smash his face in some day, Dead Apostle Ancestor or not! He deserves it!
Interviewer: I-Is that really the way a Saint should be talking...?
Venten: Eh, what’cha talking about? It doesn’t matter how I talk. Just somewhere along the line I became a one, and now I ain’t getting out.
Interviewer: Hmm, now, have there been any advances in being a Saint? Other than the obvious, of course. I mean, rather, does it affect your school life?
Venten: Nah, not much. Most people don’t care about it until we’re battling, and then it’s too late. And it doesn’t even make girls interested in me, so it does not really help my private life (sigh).
Interviewer: Ehehe....I see. Well, I wish you luck on that. However, how about your Servant? Do you get along fine with Lancer?
Venten: Ooh, Lancer’s a great guy! We’ve got exactly same interests, him and I. And when we work together, man, we are unstoppable!
Interviewer: W-well it’s nice to hear that you make a good team. Now, one more question before we must end this. What advice would you give to the new students of the Athena Academy?
Venten: Advice, huh? Hmm....well, stay out of trouble, don’t bother that crazy girl from ARES, don’t peep into female dressing rooms in Paeon Bath-house....what else....?
Interviewer: I-I think that’s quite enough. Now, if you’d present us with a song that would get us to know you better...
Venten: Alright! Here.
Interviewer: Thank you. And thank you for visiting.
End of article.

Half-Blood Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number eleven:
Head of the Half-Blood dormitories
Japan’s “Petal Flurry Liner”
Mori Kaoru

Interviewer: K-Kaoru-san, welcome. I’m glad you could take some of your time for this interview...
Kaoru: It is alright. Nowadays I have very little to do in my spare time. So, as I had no duties to take care of as the president of the Tea Ceremony club, I was completely free to come here.
Interview: Well, that is good. I would have hated to know that I had forced you to skip on something in order for you to come here.
Kaoru: Ufufufu, do not worry, do not worry. So, I understood that there were some questions that you wanted me to answer?
Interviewer: A-ah! Yes. Well then, first of all.........how do you get along with your Servant, Saver?
Kaoru: Saver and I are always in good terms. Whether it is about teaching the new members of the club how to prepare tea properly, or just taking a stroll down at the Persephone Gardens, I feel that we both are always at perfect harmony.
Interviewer: Well, at least that is good. Though, on the other hand, it should have been obvious. Someone on as high rank as you on the Duel-List would not have made it that far with a superficial bond with your Servant.
Kaoru: Indeed.
Interviewer: Now then, next question. Or rather, two. Now, these might be a bit personal, but they were by far the most requested ones that were sent to our editorial staff. So, here goes. First question is: “Have you ever opened your eyes, and in fact: What is your eye-color”?
Kaoru: Um.....? I do have my eyes properly open. And my eyes are yellow...........
Interviewer: Y-you........you yourself don’t realize you look just like a kitsune of some sort with those eyes of yours....? Well, in any case.............(clears throat), the next question: “Mori Kaoru-san: Are you a boy, or are you a girl?”
Kaoru: ....................................
Interviewer: I-I-I’m sorry! This is just the question that the readers requested us to ask, so please forgive me!!
Kaoru: Fu.........Fufufufufufu~ How intriguing. Well, if they are so interested, I guess I have to keep the tension up. Thus, I shall refrain from answering that.
Interviewer: Understood. W-well, before we end this interview, could you give us a song that would let us know you better?
Kaoru: With a pleasure. Here.
Interviewer:W-what is this blatantly boss-sounding piece???
Kaoru: Fufufufufu~
End of article.

Taima Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number twelve:
Head of the Taima Dormitories
Japan’s ““Emperor Rule”
Souja Mikado

Interviewer: It’s good to have you here, Souja-san. I’m surprised-
Souja Mikado: I hope that this interview is over quickly. I do not have all day to flounder around like this. After all, the Disciplinary Committee depends on me.
Interviewer: I-I’m sure of that. I’ll be sure to not keep you long. Now, should we go over to the questions, as you want to hurry.
Souja Mikado: Please do.
Interviewer: Well, first of all: Are you actually owner of the fabled “God Circuits”?
Souja Mikado: Hah. Well, that is certainly a question that is asked a lot from me. In fact, yes, I am a proud owner of God Circuits, the trademark of Souja family.
Interviewer: I see. Well then, how about your Servant, Archer? How are you able to work with him?
Souja Mikado: Not as well as I would hope for. Archer’s attitude leaves much to be desired, and I certainly cannot stand his sarcastic attitude to everything. I would hope he’d take things more seriously, and work with me as a Servant should work with his Master.
Interviewer: Well, that is a shame to hear. Does this hamper your work with Disciplinary Committee?
Souja Mikado: Not to the degree that it would prevent me from doing my work either there or as the dorm head of the Taima dormitories. If there is a wrongdoer somewhere, I am there to punish him or her appropriately.
Interviewer: That is quite a thing to proclaim.
Souja Mikado: Of course. After all, I am the embodiment of the Law amongst students, after all, Desten-san.
Interviewer: I-I see. Well, hopefully we can leave that to you, then. Oh, before we stop, would you mind giving us a music that would give us a better insight at your personality? Others have done the same already.
Souja Mikado: Very well. Here.
Interviewer: Thank you, and have a pleasant day.

Middle-Eastern Order Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number thirteen:
Head of the Middle-Eastern Order Dormitories
From parts unknown, “Eye of the Storm”
Avarice

Interviewer: Soooo..........I was supposed to interview Avarice today. However, when I arrived to my office, I noticed that somebody had been here. And I only left for a few minutes. In any case, there was a single paper-note left on the table, and my web-browser had been opened on a certain youtube-page. In any case, here is the content of the note:

I acquired your message that asked for an interview, and thou I won’t be appearing myself, I took the liberty to anticipate your questions and answer them myself. Well, first of all, even though I am most of the time out of my office, and thus unable to answer people of my dorm directly about their questions, I can assure you, I am not slacking off. I am doing my job properly, like rest of the dorm heads. Well, sans Li Hong, who forces poor that poor secretary of her to work all day long.
To answer your second question: Yes, I am doing quite fine with Kaiser, thank you very much. Although he is a prideful man, he is someone I can easily talk to, and it seems that I have earned his respect. However, lately he has grown restless as there have been no challenges after the last defeat of Venten Gullivan and his Lancer.
For the third question, I have no intention of stating my opinion. The Mystery Reseach club can do what they want, and if they truly think my face is something worth trying to see, then they can be my guests. However, I have no intention of just showing it to them if they ask. If they want their mystery, they have to work for it.
And yes, I did think of a music that would fit me, and tell your readers more about me. It’s in the link I opened up in your browser.
Well, that is all. Good day to you.
- Avarice

Interviewer: And there you have it. The most mysterious man of OLYMPUS did it again. Oh, and the link he put up was this.
Interviewer: Well, I guess my work here is done for today.
End of article.

China Order Dorm HeadEdit

“Introducing!!” guest number fourteen:
Head of the China Order Dormitories
From China, “Red Spear of the Plains”
Li Hong

Interviewer: Ni Hao, Li Hong, and welcome to the Iris Newspaper’s interview! Oh, and Ni Hao to you too, Wang Fang Hua.
Fang Hua: Thank you. Despite our tight schedule today, I found some time for us so we could attend this interview. I’ve been reading the interviews of other dorm heads from last numbers of this magazine, and I must say, although they were not informative, they certainly gave away the character of each dorm head. Even I, who have met them all, didn’t know some of the stuff mentioned about them.
Interviewer: Well, it’s reassuring to know that my work has not been all for naught (laugh). Well, how have you been today? You, Fang Hua, look certainly energetic today.
Fang Hua: You noticed? (Embarassed laugh) Well, I just found out that we’ll be having some new students joining our dorm at the start of next semester, and of course, news like that warm up this cold March, when I know that after only a week we’ll be able to welcome new recruits to our dorm.
Interviewer: Well, that is certainly nice to hear. It is always good to see a person in charge who is enthusiastic about new students, and meeting new people.
Fang Hua: Well, of course I’d hope that we’d be able to get one or two Masters in this batch of students, but you can’t always get lucky.
Interviewer: Understandable. Even our dorm does not have many Masters, and thus, every year we hope for new recruits that would somehow find the secret way into summoning a Servant. Too bad ARES will permanently remove those who blabber the secret to non-Masters.
Fang Hua: Yes, it is scary. Even though Lovestone-sensei usually is so likeable, when he states it so bluntly and coldly, she feels like almost a different person.
Interviewer: Speaking of Tracy Lovestone, you were witnessing one of her failed attempts to date her colleague the other day, weren’t you?
Fang Hua: I-I don’t think we should talk about that, she’ll get mad at me again........and I simply have too much stuff in my hands to be left in detention.
Interviewer: Sorry, sorry. (laugh) I was just too shaken up today when she howled on that bar in the Demeter Market about how she can’t find a good man amongst her workmates, and how people will look at her badly if she half-jokes about dating a student.
Fang Hua: Aozaki-sensei must have had a good laugh...
Interviewer: Indeed. Well, is there anything more you’d like to say? How’s the “Chief-Servant” of your dorm, Marauder?
Fang Hua: Oh, Marauder is just fine. He’s always butting heads with your Servant, but I guess they have fun..........sort of.
Interviewer: Yes, I’ve noticed (laugh). Well then, before we stop this interview...............would the actual dorm head want to say something?
Li Hong: (Snore)
Fang Hua: CHIEF!!
Li Hong: (Jumps up) W-what is it!? I’ll have Dom Pérignon!
Fang Hua: Chief, with our budget, you can never afford Dom Pérignon, so stop even dreaming about it. And get your act together!
Li Hong: Soooooo.................What is it?
Interviewer: Well, Li Hong, could you give us a song that would tell us more about your personality?
Li Hong: Huh, oh, sure. Here. Can I go back to sleep now?
Interviewer: At least sleep back at your dorm, not at our office.
End of article.

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